lol
Time to make more sandwiches and milkshakes
On the one hand, arresting a man for throwing a sandwich is fucking stupid.
On the other hand, if people start throwing harmless things at armed state security forces, eventually state security forces will mistake a thrown object for a weapon and kill somebody. And since we don’t want that to happen, it’s good to discourage people from throwing harmless things at armed state security forces.
And on the gripping hand, this man was arrested, spent time in jail, lost his job, and has had to pay a lot of money to some expensive lawyers and endure months of fear and uncertainty before being found not guilty, and that’s enough of a punishment to make an example of him and deter a lot of other people from emulating him. So even without a conviction, state security achieved their goal.
I think throwing a wrapped onion and mustard sandwich is now a meme and therefore protected under free expression.
They get to throw stun grenades and shoot priests, we get the sandwich thing.
Sub beats wrap
I wish in cases like these, the jury could sanction the prosecution, like not guilty, and we revoke your right to practice law for 90 days for being such fucking idiots and harming the accused, and wasting our fucking time.
Also just further on this… think of how many frivilious law suits could be prevented with that. Don’t let the jury block them for a year, and maybe keep a harsher thing like 90 days for state/feds, but imagine if someone hires a lawyer to sue someone for something absolutely ridiculous, and they knew they would risk not being able to practice law for a week if they offend the jury for how stupid it was.
I revel in the fact that the cop is going to get roasted for this through out his career. We should start emailing quality puns to the department so they don’t run out of fodder too quick.
“This, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is about a sandwich” and after the federal agent claimed to have been smeared with mustard and onions, the defense showed a picture of the sandwich - still completely in its wrapper.
“If the wrapper is still fit, you must acquit!”
I was kind of hoping the defence would produce a receipt that confirmed it was a BLT without onions, hence proving the agent committed perjury.
Were in a world where I can’t tell if this is legit or not.
Of assault… but what about the pepper?
The man who was hit with the sandwich was CBP agent Gregory Lairmore, who told the jury earlier this week that the sandwich “kind of exploded all over my uniform” and “smelled of onions and mustard”, according to the Washington Post. The defense pushed back, as it appeared in imagery from the scene that the sandwich did not leave its wrapper.
LOL, how is this not The Onion?
Anyway, it’d be nice to be able to sue the shit out of those responsible for wasting this guy’s time, reinstall him in his job, and give him all back pay.
Now sue them for $.
Or politicians need to be forced to vote to remove this immunity BS. We need to push for that and the removal of citizens United.
I was just wondering if he could sue for malicious prosecution.
… and can the police officer who LIED (perjured himself) when saying the sandwich “exploded all over” be privately charged if the court won’t do it themselves?
He probably can’t. Absurd as it may sound, he was actually guilty.
Here are model jury instructions for the charge, which include:
There is a forcible assault when one person intentionally strikes another
It doesn’t say that the victim must be struck with something very likely to injure them. Looking at the statute, it turns out that actual physical contact (rather than making a threat without contact) elevates it to a felony - the charge a grand jury previously rejected.
Of course, prosecutors normally apply common sense to charging decisions and don’t prosecute everything that technically qualifies under the strictest reading of a statute.
It took 3 grand juries to even be able to bring the case, it was always going to end in acquittal. Sure, it’s technically assault, but nobody was going to convict for that.
This was charged as a misdemeanor. No grand jury this time.
I’m on the protestor’s side here, but in general, it probably ought to be illegal to throw sandwiches at people. Some jurisdictions have a separate offense of harassment for offensive or even merely nonconsensual intentional physical contact that presents no risk of injury.
I’d have voted not guilty if I was on that jury, but guilty for the same conduct under different circumstances, such as throwing food at a fast food worker over a customer service issue.
Who knows but if he does they should bar the agent and lawyer that brought up the charges from ever bringing charges again on anybody.
Man frowns at MAGA.
Republicans: he assaulted me! Lock him up!
This is preposterous! It’s a dangerous ruling! If this is truly how it’s going to go, then people will start buying subs and throwing them at ice thugs every da…
I withdraw my comment and give back the rest of my time.
I’m glad DC juries aren’t putting up with Trump and Bondi’s fascist shit
The random sample survey of 604 D.C. residents was taken between August 14 and 17 shortly after Trump signed the executive order. It indicates some 65 percent of residents do not believe the presence of FBI agents and uniformed National Guard troops from an increasing number of states makes the city safer.
Eight of 10 residents surveyed oppose Trump’s executive order to federalize law enforcement in the city. Seven in 10 oppose it “strongly.”
I’m not sure why they thought a DC jury would ever convict, given that even a DC grand jury (which hears only the prosecutor’s side) didn’t indict.
The grand jury didn’t really have any choice: it was a turkey sandwich, and they only indict ham.
