The man who was hit with the sandwich was CBP agent Gregory Lairmore, who told the jury earlier this week that the sandwich “kind of exploded all over my uniform” and “smelled of onions and mustard”, according to the Washington Post. The defense pushed back, as it appeared in imagery from the scene that the sandwich did not leave its wrapper.

LOL, how is this not The Onion?

Anyway, it’d be nice to be able to sue the shit out of those responsible for wasting this guy’s time, reinstall him in his job, and give him all back pay.