I had a drum that was stored on a huge wardrobe and was pretty unstable. One day, as i opened the wardrobe, the drum fell on my head. I laugh about it today because fortunately, the wound was not as severe as i though at first.
Went to my car at Lidl. When entering I hit my head against the roof. Bumped to the other way, door began closing, hit my other side of my head against the door, then roof again, again door and smashing into the interior in a sitting position. Door closed.
After made myself think again I thought about how my father would be disappointed over my grave that he raised my for so long and I killed myself in such a stupid way.
I never actually saw it, but my mom swears and declares that one time a maine coon cat we had ended up getting up on his hind legs and used his paws to open my bedroom door, back when I shared a room with one of my brothers.
Rushing on a snowy day, walked into an open manhole. To this day I have no idea what I landed on, I was shoulders-deep and when I came back the next day the snow was gone all I saw was the manhole cover.
Left side of my bed collapsed while mid-coitus (cheap MDF bed, not raucous sex). Missionary, so we just rolled softly off the mattress and onto the floor. Paused briefly as we both processed what had just happened, then laughed and continued.
I was practicing my front kicks on a heavy bag in my kung fu school when I decided to try to work on their height. I kicked as high as I could which made me lean back (bad form). Well heavy bags fight back and between that and my unstable position I fell backwards like a log. Yes, I was defeated by a bag.
Doing a Horny Gorilla skydive with 5 friends.
Representative photo of a Horny Gorilla not a photo of me or my friends:
We get into the formation, actually get stable and the next thing we all see is a one jumpers deployment bag, with their main parachute in it, come out from his back. Goes above the formation, then the deployment bag comes down into the middle of the formation… goes back up… comes back down. Lines are streaming all around and it’s turning into a really dangerous situation. Getting tied up in the lines, while in free fall has a great chance of being fatal.
But it was just a surreal moment for all of us, seeing this deployment bag dancing around in the middle of the Horny Gorilla.
The person next to the jumper with the deployment bag out, reaches down and pulls the affected jumper’s Pilot Chute, which is what actually deploys the main, and tosses it into the air stream. The affected jumper went flying out of the formation as his main parachute deployed. The rest of us break and track hard.
The guy actually landed his main parachute! He did not end up cutting away and pulling his reserve. The way that deployment bag just danced in an out of the middle of the formation was just unreal and we all just stared at it for what seemed an eternity.
25 years on and we all still talk about it.
when i was running to take the bus and slipped in a puddle in the sidewalk, throwing my legs upwards as if i were daniel stern in home alone, and landing on my back.
Watched from my kitchen window as my dad and my dog were chased by a skunk. It was exactly like a comedy sketch. First it was dog barking at skunk with dad yelling from the side door. Then it was skunk chasing dog, dog chasing skunk with dad chasing dog. Then the tables were turned, and my dad was being chased by the skunk.
It was glorious. I remember it taking ages before they could get safely inside. My dad was pissed at the time. They both were partially sprayed, but I don’t remember it being that bad of an aftermath. We laugh about it now.
When I was a teen we had adopted a neighborhood stray Maine Coon named Barney. He was a big cat. Well one day I heard screaming from the back yard and ran to the window only to see my mom running from Barney. My mom NEVER ran and was very mellow 99% of the time. I had to laugh seeing this cat that barely came up to her calf chasing her around the yard while she “ran for her life”. In his defense Barney liked to chase us kids around and we sort of trained him to do it by chasing him too. It became his play.
I asked her later why she was so scared and she just said “Well the cat was chasing me!” and I responded “What was he going to do? Nibble your ankles?”
And he never looked at tomato juice the same way ever again
And he had to sleep in the garage for 3 days.
Slipped on a banana peel in kidnergarten.
Many years ago I was painting stars on a bedroom ceiling for my oldest’s third birthday. I had been running the ceiling fan in the room for all the other painting to help it dry faster, and it didn’t occur to me that running the fan while I was on a ladder painting stars on the ceiling wasn’t a good idea.
To be fair, I got most of them done before it went bad.
The ceiling fan hit me in the head, and I heard a stadium crowd cheering the home run as I flew off the ladder and landed on my back.
I managed to get a bruise that went around the front of my head. It looked like my skull had flexed.
I decided I had painted enough that day.
Reminds me of when I was installing the lights in my apartment (germany: people take their light fixtures with them…)
I asked my gf at the time: “Can you turn off the breaker for the lights?”
“Done!” she says, so I take the red live wire and the black live wire and I - <BWAP>Woke up on the floor, the ladder still standing. ‘Done’ apparently meant ‘Consider it done’
Stepped on a rake, smacked me right on the forehead. More plausible than you might think.
Sideshow Bob?
I once stepped on a pitchfork, wasn’t so funny as I was running barefoot and impaled my toe straight through.
Done the same. Didn’t think it could happen to me. I was wrong and paid the price.
Someone handed me a rake and in perfect cartoon fashion, I stepped on it and wacked myself in the face.
It was snowy out and I was in the car with my partner about to take off to work. We had a roommate at that time. I looked over at the house and roommate comes out, slips, and falls. I tell my partner “oh nooo… Roomate fell…” as they’re trying to get the car started.
Roommate attempts to get back up, slips again… gets halfway up, falls again… stands fully up, does a little kinda jog-in-place, falls again… I tell my partner “he’s… still falling…”
I went off the road on an ice coated mountain road once. I suspected conditions were ripe for icing so I was going VERY slowly fortunately. I went into a tree. Well when I got out to inspect the damage as soon as I tried to stand up my feet went out from under me and I held onto the top of the door while my legs flailed like a cartoon character building up speed. The ice was the slickest I’ve ever encountered.
Was putting together a flat pack wardrobe with my sister and mother. Mother just had to stand and support it whilst my sister did up some screws (at this point it was just a rectangle with no internal support so gravity wants to turn it into a rhombus). She starts getting bored and checks her phone leading to it tilting and the top section falls out and brains my sister on the head. After some choice words we put it back together and then she manages to do the exact same thing the second time, right on top of the bump made by the first incident. It was like a laurel and hardy sketch. My sister was very much not amused.
Ya know when someone rounds a corner, they lose traction, run in place for a moment, and then fall?
Yeah. While in a factory. One of the trailers the next section was working on caught fire, so I bolted over there to assist, and no one in my section thought to hit our E-Stop. I bolted around the corner, hit the red button, turned, was booking it back, hit that corner, and was just in place until my ass hit concrete.
After all was said and done, we had a good laugh. Got called out at the next safety meeting for being a bit too enthusiastic on making my way back.
