You don’t feel older mentally, but your body starts to betray you. I don’t mean stuff like your legs aching after getting up when sitting on the floor, or getting tired easier; it’s the subtle things that really are irritating. Like taking longer to learn something. Getting fatter even though you don’t really think your diet is bad. Taking longer to find that word you can’t think of or the name of that person, movie, place, whatever.

The irritations that add up are the ones that you don’t really expect, not just the ones you do like needing glasses.

Then there’s “time.” Fucking day goes too quick. Used to be you felt like you could get all kinds of shit done in a day. Now? Run two errands and half the day is gone. Wtf.

Also, “lasts”.

You start to realize that there are things approaching that are the last time you’ll see or do something. The last time you visit where you grew up. Last time your kid lived at home. Last car you’ll ever own.

Yeah, the lasts suck.

Time feels way faster as you get older.

It’s also pretty grim that the people you know are either dying, dead, or have a life altering illness that comes out of nowhere. I feel like there’s a funeral in my family once a month, rather than once every decade.

I have to keep scrolling further and further back every year on age verification for websites.

all my friends are either dead or my enemies

A girl that stopped me on the street to ask directions concluded the exchange with “Thank you sir.”

Also, the waiters now automatically bring the bill to me when I have lunch with coworkers.

Every fart is a gamble

The realization that I may never live to see capitalism collapse

Looks at a picture of a family dinner from 10 years ago. One third of the people are now dead…

These are all cute, but when you start to lose your balance just turning your head or with basic movements, you really start to feel old.

It’s only a matter of time before you start falling.

Once you start falling, you start dying slowly

I don’t feel happy

Male pattern baldness sucks, esp as a trans girl

Injuries take longer to heal and recovery from the gym is slower

Hangovers now take two days

Skin dries out much faster (though this might be due to E)

Lots of things like grey hair, moving more slowly, injuries that I would have bounced away from before instead hurting for weeks or months.

But the one that hit hardest was a breakup I had a little while back. She was the love of my life and I fully intended to marry her, and when she ended it out of nowhere I was sad, but fine. She dumped me, and it sucked, but I also needed to finish a staff report for a Planning and Zoning Commission meeting that night. So I moved on.

The thing that upset me most was that I wasn’t that upset. There was a time in my life when I would have been a mess. But as I’ve aged, my emotions have become more regulated.

I miss being capable of that level of joy and pain.

Nobody mistakes me for a teenager anymore.

Kids call me “lady”

I want to go to bed at 9 PM

I get excited for new appliances

It was when I tripped and fell over outside my house. The next day my neighbour said, “I hear you had a Fall.”

Yes, when you’re old you don’t fall over, you “have a Fall”. Everyone hearing about your Fall will make concerned noises. (I was perfectly fine! I’m not OLD old!)

Cuts and such heal WAYYYYY more slowly.

I also seem to bruise easier.