There is always a guaranteed way to get into heaven and that is confess to all your sins, live on TV, with the names of co-conspirators as well.
GOD DAMNIT
I saw “Trump, 79…” And my heart thought that was an obituary and it knew joy. For one minor fleeting second.
“You cannot serve both God and money.” (Matthew 6:24)
“It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” (Mark 10:25)
Kinda makes you wonder how it’s possible to be pro-capitalist and pro-Christian. Or… in other words, how it’s possible to ever be in compliance with Trump’s NSPM #7.
Acts 2:43-47 “Life Among Believers”
All who believed were together and had all things in common; they would sell their possessions and goods and distribute the proceeds to all, as any had need. Day by day, as they spent much time together in the temple, they broke bread at home and ate their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having the goodwill of all the people.
The believers sold all their stuff, loved everyone, and things were great. If the US is a Christian nation, why aren’t we doing that? (Rhetorical)
Does a 3d printed camel count if you consider the extruder a needle?
“Hey! Welcome to Heaven! Congratulations! You lived a virtuous life free of sin and full of good deeds. How would you like to spend eternity?”
“Where’s Donald Trump!?!?”
“Uhh…he’s very much in Hell…he wasn’t exactly…Heaven…material.”
“Yeah, I know. I’d like to spend my eternity in Hell watching him burn!”
“sighs Are you sure? This is an eternity you’re talking about here.”
“Did I stutter?”
“sighs loudly No…no you didn’t, portal opens…”
“Ok, but all the good seats are taken. You’ll be way in the back at this point.”
Oh, wow, really? Ok, was it all the child raping and the life of crime that makes him think this?
I’m guessing Trump got some bad news from a real doctor after his second “annual visit” to Walter Reed hospital.
I fucking hope so.
Fingers crossed it’s a nice bout of inoperable and debilitating cancer.
“most associated name with a potential anti-christ ponders how he might not get into heaven”
Nero?
That would require heaven to be real first. Old man turnip knows this. We all saw how he holds a bible. His fundie bootlickers should realize this but since he hates the same things they do they’re blinded to the fact he hates them too.
And fuck Stephen Miller.
I don’t know that President Pedophile actually knows that heaven isn’t real.
He has the same understanding of heaven that my dad has. He believes if he is what he thinks a Christian is, he can just pretend to be sorry at the end and God has to let him in. However, he’s never actually paid any attention to anything the Bible says about what Jesus is.
Also, if it’s all just a bullshit scam to him, why would he ever suggest there’s a possibility that God wouldn’t embrace him? There’s no benefit to that, only risk. What if some of his deluded followers start to question if he was really sent by God?
As people age, they start to think about what comes next, and the idea of an afterlife is a lot more appealing than nothingness. I think a lot of non-religious older folks go all in on Pascal’s Wager when they are faced with their own mortality.
This.
Nearly every “Christian” I know acts like a.) they’ve never read their Bible and B.) their God has the mental capacity of a 7 year old child.
Release the un redacted Epstein list
Create a universal healthcare system
Create free college
Abolish ice, Stop kidnapping people and pass a bipartisan immigration reform bill
Defund Israel
Defund palantir
Enact a 90% tax rate on capital gains and income over 1 million a year.
Hire back everyone you fired
Donate all your wealth to charity
It’s a start. Might not get you into heaven but you may get out of the deepest circle of hell
El Taco should have thought of that before he spent a lifetime as a rapist piece of shit. But maybe he can convert to Catholicism and buy off the Pope*!
*this is not how indulgences actually work and would not actually help
If there is a heaven, and people like Trump get in, send me straight to hell.
He’ll be fine. Trump is going to have a long healthy life because with modern conservatives, hell has a waiting list.
This tells me that even he knows his candle’s sputtering out. I just hope he’s snuffed soon; it’d make a wonderful Christmas gift.
This actually ties together a lot of his actions in the past while. This is what’s on his mind.
If he’s willing to admit that publicly, then I’ll bet deep down he knows he’s going down in the history books as one of the (if not the) worst presidents America ever had. It’s a shame he’s not likely to still be around to see the full devastation of the country his actions this year are about to lead to, and hopefully the ultimate rejection of everything he worked for once the sheep are finally no longer under his spell.
I saw the title and was gonna get ready to piss on a grave
