I absolutely joke with the interviewer by saying I like being able to pay my bills. It always gets a laugh, and then I go into fake reason I want to work there.
I’ll use something real that I like about them, but to be clear, it’s still 99.9% money and 0.1% that other thing lol
As an interview I always ask, “why here? I mean other than to pay your bills, you didn’t apply to a charity.” Always gets a laugh and then they generally give me an honest, decent reason.
We never ask to hear, “because bills.” We aren’t as stupid as you think we are. Some people actually nail this question, others don’t attempt. You can’t try? Why the hell do you think you’d be a good fit? I can hire more motivated people that will do better in the long run.
Interviewing is a skill like any other. Some people are great at it, others suck because they don’t understand what it’s for. Most fall in the later category since they miss the point entirely.
I’m stealing that.
Yup.
But in the field of work I did, I had multiple advantages.
First was the high turnover rate. Most nursing facilities and home health companies have trouble keeping staff. So, chances are high that if you apply, you’re getting hired unless you’re absolutely horrible.
Second, I had experience out the wazoo by the point where I realized the above. Which meant not only did I have a good work history, it was also a history of sticking at a given employer, so I knew I could almost guarantee being hired even if there were applications stacked deep.
Third, I was visibly strong. Men were much rarer in my area as nurse’s assistants back then, so we tended to get snapped up fast for what is a physically demanding job. Since I’m a big ol’ fella that looks like he can throw people around easily, I could have gotten hired most places even if I had a shitty work record and been an asshole to whoever was doing the hiring.
Luckily, I’m not that kind of asshole (and was less of one in the ways I am an asshole back then), and I am instead charming as fuck in person. Which was my other advantage. It doesn’t show online, but if someone isn’t biased against sasquatches, they tend to respond well to me.
So, after the main company I worked for folded due to the administrator embezzling it into the ground, the first interview I had when they asked that I was able to be honest and say “look, this is what I do. I take care of people. I want to get paid for doing it, and word is that you pay the best in the area. Hire me at whatever your pay cap is, and I’ll be your best NA. Might take a few weeks before you believe that, but you will.”
On screen, that looks cocky and snide. But in person, it got a smile and an immediate hire. At the pay cap, and a promise of full time hours as long as I wanted them. Worked there until my body finally gave out.
Funny, my last job as the Buyer for a chain of bike shops was much the same straight talk. I told the owner, “Look, I’ve already worked in a high end shop, and I have owned my own business twice. I spend all money like it is my own regardless of the amount. If I make a purchase, regardless of the amount of money involved, I’m mentally spending my own money and thinking in terms of paying back your loan. I have real independent ethics and self awareness. I hold myself to the standard of employees I wish I had been able to find for my own business. I expect freedom, flexibility, respect, and autonomy, but I offer a conservatively consistent and reliable person that will always defer to you when I am unsure about an investment or a sum of money I cannot backup with my own finances.”
I find that people who fail to understand that kind of directness, and honesty without all of the insane courtship rituals that now underpin the hiring process are terrible to work for in the first place. I’d rather die than do the debasing mockery of a HR department or some circlejerk clown show of an interview like whores in a brothel. These things are valueless. Look at any large company and you’ll find a range of skills and aptitudes that do not reflect some great filter of value begotten by HR inventing a reason for its own existence as a malignant tumor growth out of the role of an accountant managing payroll in a back office.
When I was asked why in hell I worked for such garbage pay, I told people straight, I can’t run a business with fluctuating income and keep up with paying child services payments. I need rock solid consistency to rebuild my life from the ashes they create for the profit of their agents that are paid on commission. They couldn’t take a bike from me like how they wrecked my commercial driver’s license and business.
I always kinda implied the obvious that I work to survive. Anyone that feels the need to say otherwise would be a prime reason I would walk away. Only a useless clown like a malignant HR tumor would ever question a thing like this. As a business owner twice – of course my employees work for their own survival. And of fucking course I have an ethical and moral responsibility implied by that relationship. If I feel the need to say otherwise, I’m a worthless piece of shit you should never work for and anyone that says such a thing while working for another person is the responsibility of that higher up and absolutely reflective of their moral and ethical depravity. No one should ever put up with such a malignant cancer of a person at any level. They are blatantly telling you “This is a terrible place to work because it produced or failed to filter out me.”
Damn, now I wish I had a bike business so I could hire you.
I am instead charming as fuck in person. Which was my other advantage. It doesn’t show online
Honestly? I totally saw it
Well, thanks :)
Tell them “I need this job because working 40 hours a week at the sperm bank is very exhausting”
As long as I can remember, I’ve had a strong passion for eating food.
Always, every time.
“Why do you want to work here?”“Because you have an opening, and the pay looks commensurate for the responsibilities. So far, the role looks like a good mutual fit. But I’m going to need more details to ensure we’re good for each other.”
I have the ability to do the job you require and am willing to do it in the listed times for the price stated. Let’s get this going.
I bloody hate having to be all “yeah im really passionate about mopping floors at 6am? There’s nothing I love more than getting yelled at by customers.”
It frustrates me because having to suck them off like that is the only technique that works because why don’t interviewers see straight through it? Their entire purpose at that point is to hire the best guy for the job, and consistently they just fall for bullshit.
Said it in every interview I’ve ever been in. It’s the truth, usually not my only answer though.
a more useful question would be,“out of all the ways you could make money why are you thinking about this one?”
Yeah when I was 15. 😂 The manager suddenly got huffy. The interview was at Target, so no big loss.
Yeah. I’m brutal in the interview. I’ll let them know they are a finalist, but that I can ultimately only choose one employer for the daytime role.
But I want to weed out the egotists and ‘family’ shops so everyone understands. I’ll connect stand-by, OT and hybrid work rules to a higher wage given more demand and bad architecture, and ask them to justify de-prioritizing reliability and proper architecture with band-aids. And we’ll talk about the cost of living around the mandated office location and how 4x a 2/2 rent compares to their entry wage.
Sometimes, though, I’ll wordsmith it a bit to get the answers and then only review their answers later in the competition before confirming that their position as a candidate for my next employer has ended.
Iirc I have said that. But it was because the interview was going well. By that I mean that when I left the two looked at each other, said their sides hurt from laughing, and they said “Let’s hire him even though he isn’t qualified and just see what happens.” Best job I ever had.
Tbf, I interview well. It is far more about being comfortable and competent in the topics you would be doing. It takes reading the room. In the case of the interview above I could tell that humor was my best option and had them in tears multiple times through the interview.
If we were allowed to be honest that’s what everyone would say. But honesty doesn’t pay. Lying does. Spinning a yarn of bullshit about opportunity and gratitude yields a better result sadly.
Yes
I almost always say this. I usually turn down the job and state that the pay being offered is a little too low … they sometimes raise it.
That’s the kind of stuff I’m, today, mature and emotionally stable enough to force myself to lie about, lol. I’m good at yapping so I think that the one time I was asked that I just BSd my way out of it, what else would I do? Should I tell the company that consumerism is vacuous, stupid and immoral and as such they should also consider doing something prosocial instead of selling Nespresso machines?😅
Kinda, but it was for a temp job doing physical labor.
Yes, but the wording sounds more like “I’m eager to put my time to productive use”.
