It’s so hard to pick just one. They all have their moments.

…except Miss Piggy, who has always annoyed me beyond measure.

Shit. I’ve been conned.

I did it. Elvis paid me to.

I’ve worked with two people who were homeschooled. Both were smart, but well behind in their social development. And just very odd, off-putting people. When one of them wanted your attention, he’d just stand there silently waiting for you to notice him. Sometimes you’d turn around and there he was. The other proudly announced in a staff meeting that he was going to appear in a porn movie.

I don’t think cloning a human would be much harder than a sheep.

I saw a duck steal a woman’s wallet.

It was hanging around her feet while she ate lunch, obviously hoping for some crumbs. She ignored it and it started poking its beak through her handbag. I saw it come up with the wallet, then start to waddle slowly away as she stood and took up her bag to walk off. The exterior doors on that side of the building were locked, so I couldn’t get her attention to let her know what was going on. I wonder what she thinks happened to her wallet?

For catholic priests, maybe…

I was on the edge of my seat watching Adam try to get rid of a bomb.

Yes, this has happened to me. The woman in question was at the time under investigation by HR for bullying her direct reports, so she was probably trying to smooth things over with her previous victims. Didn’t help her.

Not all. And their search tool lets you look for non-DRM books.

big deal out of nothing

Yes, I realise what I did there. No, I’m not changing it.

As a tiny kitten, she was fascinated by the drawstring on my shorts. One day she launched herself at it, intending to kill the tiny prey creature, and found herself hanging from claws inserted into the vulnerable flesh underneath. Very important vulnerable flesh. I tried to scream, but couldn’t draw breath.

My wife insists that I’m making a big deal out of nothing, but how could she understand? I felt that injury for weeks afterwards.

“Do not wash hands with boiling water”

During my time there, two people broke the rule.

I understand the guilt but the way you’ve described it, you helped your dog pass over at the point where you’d no longer be capable of keeping her comfortable. Add me to the list of people who think you did the right thing.

Sometimes you need to rename something that was originally named after someone who became a national humiliation.

Last time I gambled I won $90. Figured I’d never get that lucky again and gave it up for good.

Alien (if you count the cat)

I count Ripley following protocol and refusing to open the airlock for a contaminated crewmate. If Ash hadn’t stepped in, the movie would have ended very differently.

Aliens. After Gorman’s breakdown, all the marines start taking orders from Ripley.

Sing out loud.

I’m not a cruel man, so I don’t do it in company.

I’ve only travelled outside of America.

Had some ideas about visiting the US for Gencon, but 2025 doesn’t seem like a good year for that.