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Cake day: August 5th, 2023

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  • Kill Tony, sometimes the jokes are good and the interviews can be good when they aren’t.

    Anthony Jeselnek, if you like dark humor.

    Older Amy Schumer, if you like dark humor, newer Amy Schumer if you have a liberal arts sense of humor.

    Kam Patterson, if you like black humor, rocks, and hood shit

    Randy Feltface, if you like puppet humor and Australian accents.

    Jeff Dunham, if you like puppet humor and stereotypes.

    Casey Rocket, if you like stupid irreverent brilliant insanity.

    Bo Burnham, if you like brilliant poignant commentary of a jester mocking himself and society.

    Theo Von, if you like redneck humor.

    Ron White, if you like alcoholic redneck humor.





  • Biden: I believe in the dignity of human life, except those three guys. I mean, come on man. I’m just being honest, those guys suck. I respect human life, but them? Ho-wha-ya, I-I, they suck. As your senator, I have made this decision, and Kamala stands by it.

    Trump: You know, Biden, Joe Bye-den, Sleepy Joe as I call him. Many other call him Sleepy Joe, very smart people. Kamalala lost, I won. Really, America won, America will be greater under my Administration. We would have been safer too, but Old Sleepy Joe, as I call him, decided he would rather have violent inmates live instead of saving the taxpayers millions of dollars and stop giving them socialized medicine and socialized housing, he wants more of that. You know, he wants to spend our country into poverty while letting millions of illegals, many of whom are criminals, just like those 37 terrible people, and the three Joe loved so much to spare, Hunter Biden, and of course the media filled with liars and terrible nasty people. He wants to ruin America every last second he has. But don’t worry, there will be executions, many more, some would say too many, but I disagree. I spoke with experts in executions, very smart men, some women, if you could believe that, and they told me that we could execute many times more people than any president in history. I asked them how we could do that, how would that be possible, they told me about the concept for a plan to execute millions. I asked them, “millions?”, they told me “Easily”. Those very smart experts said we could easily execute millions, and I believe them. So we are going to make America great again and Sleepy Joe won’t be able to do anything about that come January, when my administration, the best Administration, some will say it will be the best Administration ever, takes control and implements a comprehensive plan to deal with the boarder crisis and make America great again.

    We could have had Bernie…



  • It wouldn’t even be possible if he did want to.

    Given how government works at breakneck glacial speed and they would never be able to process everyone in time. Maybe they could handle some of the ones with cases, but not anywhere near everyone. They would have to make contact, start the process, process, and distribute paperwork on more than 11 million people. It would take them months just to make a broken website to gather information for submissions.

    “He could just declare it and anyone who came here before a given date would be protected.” How do you establish when someone got here? Supporting documents? They will be able to process that over the next few years, which they would be deported long before they could be processed.

    It would take an act of Congress to be able to do the legal maneuvers necessary to do what would be needed.


  • Illegally crossing the border violates federal law, which Newsom can’t pardon. He could pardon those convicted under state law, but if they are not legal immigrants, he couldn’t pardon them for what will actually get them deported.

    The other two demands, he could refuse the money and the feds can just eminent domain any lands they want to appropriate and California has more than enough federal land for the camps. So really all that is realistically on the table without drawn out lawsuits is refusing the cash.

    New Underground Railroad is on pre-release for sure.

    The next 4 years are going to be wilder than the first 4 under The Orange Man.