i really like a fictional character so much it hurts and i have this friend who i make stories with with that character and she’s the only one who likes him as much, probably more than me. i don’t want to be that way.
This absolutely not intended to sound condescending, genuinely curious. Are you a teenager?
18, yep!
Is this adoration of a character negatively impacting your life in some way? Does it prevent you from being productive or taking take of yourself? Does it detract from social activities? Is it causing you financial strain?
Nothing wrong with being obsessed with a fictional character. Lean into it and find ways of fulfilling the pain you say you are feeling, eg maybe spend more time writing stories about the character to explore things you want to see the character do or go through.
If you really want to “get over it”, then focus on developing other hobbies and interests. Whatever your second biggest interest is, spend more time on that.
Genuine question: If it’s not a problem being obsessed with fictional character, is it a problem being obsessed with a real person? Why?
I’m not saying this is the best advice, but maybe it resonates with you. Find a non fictional character or any subject that seems interesting. If there is a person that seems cool and has a biography try reading/listening/watching that. By doing this you broaden you horizon a little and that itself should give you a slightly changed view on your own fictional character. In this way you and you character can evolve together and that may also change your relationship with the character. As others have mentioned, joining a group activities like sports, volunteering, debating club, etc can also be beneficial. TLDR: Broaden your horizons. Try to interact with new people and new ideas/views.
Some start religions, some other start cults, some others fan clubs.
It’s not a perfect solution but something that I do, is anything that requires my full attention and prevents me from thinking about them.
I too am currently having this problem because I can get easily attached to fictional characters. I’ve been playing Honkai Impact 3rd, which is my first time playing a Mihoyoverse game, and the story (at least part 1, I’m not in part 1.5 or 2 yet) is so tragic, that I’ve developed an attachment to the characters. I’ve been trying to take breaks from playing, so I can focus on other things, but I get depressed if I go too long without playing it.
I watched this video essay on this topic not too long ago that I really enjoyed (one of the best video essays I’ve seen so far imo) that I think you might find really helpful and insightful as well! If you end up watching it, let me know what you think: https://youtu.be/4d0Q64SQujY
As an internet rando with no credentials, I would say embrace it. Apparently this is something you need right now. Try your hand at publishing fan fiction.
Maybe it’s just a phase? It could be harmless if it’s not getting in the way of your responsibilities and relationships.
I’m tempted to ask how old you are, but that’s not really something you need to share. But if you are young, I’m even more confident it’s a phase.
So you mean if I’m old, it’s not a phase, and I’m now cursed for life? Fuck…
Everything is a phase, especially getting obsessed with a fictional character, unless you develop some kind of crazy strong lifelong obsession, which is unlikely.
If you’re young, phases last shorter.
If you’re an adult, you likely have experienced these kind of passionate obsessions and moved on so getting obsessed with something like this might last a little bit longer but it’ll still pass.
If it bothers you too much, avoid engaging with it. Avoid your friend who will fuel the obsession more. Etc.
Nothing wrong with it. Just understand that it’s completely fantasy. Check out the group that meets for depression because Avatar doesn’t exist.
