Maybe coconut water or aloe vera gel, I imagine it’d feel weird but probably not regrettable.
I guess we’ve got to beat Cleopatra as our baseline with her bath of asp milk.
Marmite would probably veer into the regrettable category, and I’m saying that as a marmite enjoyer
coconut water
in a heartbeat
aloe vera
I can imagine this feeling really tingly after a while, though not sure why.
asp milk
what is this? I googled and found nothing
marmite
I too partake joyfully in that hellish sludge, and have wondered what depths of depravity I would willingly go to to satisfy that dark craving
Wikipedia says donkey milk was used by Cleopatra, not asp milk. Maybe OP meant ass milk and got autocorrected, but that sounds really wrong.
what is this? I googled and found nothing
Ah I got my history slightly wrong, she bathed in donkey milk and just liked asps (a kind of snake)
The asses’ milk would moisturize skin. I assume a water rinse though, because old milk stinks and could cause a yeast infection.
The asp was legendarily her choice to commit suicide, though it was probably an Egyptian Cobra, if it was a snake at all. (Asp bite death is slower and much more painful than cobra bite death.) I have a theory that the asp legend depends partly on the fact it’s easier to rhyme “asp” than Egyptian Cobra. As for snakebite in general, I note that male artists have universally portrayed the snake biting her on her bare booby. That’s not actually a good way to get the venom quickly to the heart/brain/lungs, because boobies are mostly fat, but it makes good
pornArt.
You’ve got two Cleopatra stories mixed up there.
She was said to bathe in ass’s (donkey’s) milk.
She killed herself by holding an asp (snake) to her breast.
deleted by creator
Oobleck for the experience. It wouldn’t clean you, but you’d have a story. Possibly mild regret if it’s in a bathtub that you need to clean or a house who’s plumbing you’re responsible for afterwards.
I like it – though how do I get out of it?
Very slowly.
Water based lube.
It’d have to be a communal bath though, and I’m inviting you all, even Hairy Steve.
Extrapolating from the slipperiness of lube on the floor: this is a terrible idea. People will be bouncing around like pinballs.
This just sounds more and more appealing. Count me in.
Heinz Baked Beans.
Baked Beans
It seems that you need to go watch Tommy: A Rock Opera immediately
Oh I’m a huge fan.
no regrets?
Sleepytime tea
Feel like any resulting UTIs would be worth it for the great sleep that bath would bring
Macaroni & cheese
no regrets? You’d just get up and go to bed covered in the stickiness?
Who says I’m going to bed?
A mixture of Vaseline and baby oil, just enough to keep it liquified.
That sounds… messy… but yes, you will technically be quite clean and fragrant after
What is baby oil chemically?
I presume they cold press babies, but I could be wrong.
Traditionally, Mineral oil + fragrance
Mineral oil is also known as paraffin oil and is usually a petrochemical derivative composed of larger alkane hydrcarbons. Fragrance varies a lot.
Zero sugar energy drinks.
No sugar means its not gonna get sticky, it’d rinse right off.
I imagine a bunch of creams already use the b vitamins you’d get since they love shoving b vitamins in those.
And it’ll actually drain when you’re done and a quick rinse will get everything normal afterwards.
coke zero, no question. diet coke? no thank you. Pepsi max? gtfo
Honey
least regretable
The only one that’s physically repulsive to imagine though. It would be so sticky
Astroglide
Cannabis oil
now that’d be a journey
Clarified butter
Oxygen
There certainly wouldn’t be any regrets (because you would not have time to do so before death).
Would the temperature be reasonable for a human in liquid form?
At 1 bar the boiling point of oxygen is 90.19 K (−182.96 °C, or the temperature of a banana when thrown into liquid oxygen, in freedom units) so lower than this up to freezing point (54.36 K, −218.79 °C) is liquid form. So it should be comfortable for a human to bath in, with the current world tension, clown leaders and right wing extremism on the rise.
sounds quite lovely in contrast
Warm egg custard
Steve Allen on his TV show in the 60s used to occasionally get into bathtubs full of weird stuff. The one I remember offhand was oatmeal.
I would happily do oatmeal
