Our latest senseless illegal war against brown people, born of ever-shifting lies and fought by the sons of the blithe un-rich, is Trump’s ultimate Wag-the-Dog distraction from his crimes, failures and pedophilia at home. Having oafishly declared the Iran regime “a vicious group of very hard, terrible people” - pot/kettle if you add “inept”- his “warriors” are now being told this is “part of God’s divine plan,” with The Rapture imminent (after killing more schoolgirls.) One sage: “It’s a good thing Congress isn’t alive to see this.”

Leave it to “the world’s most famous bone-spur patient,” Board of Peace chair, recipient of a fake FIFA peace prize and pilfered real Peace Prize, cornered serial sexual predator facing exposure and pathological liar who vowed “no new wars” while attacking seven nations in a year to launch “the dumbest war in US history” - a tough competition - and the biggest US military operation in the Middle East since the 2003 invasion of Iraq, which Bush, Rumsfeld, Powell et al at least tried for months to justify with a pack of lies before making “the worst foreign policy decision in history.” Trump: Hold my Coke. Experts have long warned that with his hubris, thin skin, historical ignorance and affinity for heedless demolition of buildings, customs, laws, credibility, he could wreak the most havoc in foreign affairs, where his power is most unbridled - especially now, as he grows increasingly desperate and dangerous.

Thus, having amassed a vast arsenal of US weaponry in the Persian Gulf, did he launch our current “national obscenity.” Ever presidential, he did it in a sober, cogent speech at a White House lectern with all the gravity the occasion called for. Kidding: He did it in a histrionic 2:30 a.m post on his crappy platform from his golf bordello after a $1-million-a-plate fundraiser - cue cringe robotic dancing to God Bless the USA - and a bellicose, garbled speech, his face smeared in make-up beneath a tacky baseball cap?! Later, the White House released a photo of a hastily assembled War Room with black drapes around it and some guy peeking in - looking for the omelette bar? Observers: “Looks secure to me,” “Looks like the Goodman wedding reception had to be moved,” “These clowns seriously started WW lll from a blanket fort at a shitty golf club?!” and, “This is not how democracies go to war.”