My wife threw a bottle of omega-3 capsules at my head. It’s okay, I only sustained super-fish-oil injuries.

As someone who loves puns and other dad joke type humor, puns feel very much situational and a part of improv. They’re great in the moment when you quickly think of something that gets the crowd groaning, but I can’t just dig them up with no buildup and get that same feeling.

For example, I could tell you ten random puns without context to try and make you laugh, but more than likely, “no pun in ten did.”

I see said the blind man, as he picked up the hammer and saw.

Yo mama so fat, when she fell in love, she broke it.

What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are Wanted.

I couldn’t get my wife’s attention the other day. So I sat down, got comfortable.

That did the trick.

Does music ever make you wonder? It certainly made Stevie Wonder

im on a seafood diet

i see food, and if its a fish i eat it

time flies like an arrow. fruit flies like a banana.

why did the little old lady fall into the well? she couldn’t see that well.

I don’t get your joke and it’s hurting my brain

Nevermind got it. All the children loves poetry except Tina she can’t rhyme

All the children crossed the river except Kim she couldnt swim

The United States of America

Former Socialist country man speaking: «everything they told us about Socialism was a lie, but everything they told us about Capitalism was true»

A guy walks into a bar. “Ow!”