As an mtg player these parodies are referenced enough that I think of them instead of the originals:

I’ve played everything

Asmoranomardicadaistinaculdacar

Great decision right as we head into hurricane season. At least we haven’t been setting records for the number and intensity of hurricanes, or this would be extra stupid

/s

Unfortunately, yeah. The more you let people walk over you the more comfortable they get doing it. Being blunt is a good way to stop that kind of behavior, when someone is rude asking direct questions like “why are you saying that about them?” makes people uncomfortable and will get them to stop dragging you into drama. Especially in today’s American climate people feel emboldened to attack people they see as “weak” so you need to not appear “weak” and (this is the much more difficult part) stand up for everyone else who the bullies are targeting

I mean, fucking whatever. Mt Rushmore sucks, I’ve been there. It insults the natural scenery by being a shitty half finished project on what was originally a beautiful mountain. Adding Trump to it would make it an even better metaphor for the US government, especially when he stops paying developers halfway through and we end up with a partially finished version of his face

A. Fucking. Men. Brother

Great point. I’m sure like most things related to shitty American politics if you go back far enough there’s Reagan bullshit in there too. We had a lot of opportunities to not be here, and yet here we are

“Hey I know just made more money than the Roman empire was worth by manipulating politics but ummmmm… could you please make rules that stop you from beating everyone else?”

The time to stop this was in 2016. Democrats had every opportunity and continued to fellate their corporate overlords instead of even paying lip service to their base. We’re in the “find out” phase. I’m sorry you’re losing your job, but guess what, it only gets worse from here

I know this is all about optics, but I’m sure for all the people who have had to deal with the criminal justice system they also know how shitty it is. 91% of cases result in a guilty plea, 7% end up in some sort of dismissal and only 2% actually go to trial. The system is built to make being guilty the easiest choice, and your lawyer will do everything in their power to get you to take it

I’m not certain about the most annoying, but this song is pretty bad

I don’t know if it’s exactly what you want but A Las Vegas boy sang gospel songs for 3 hours straight until his kidnappers brought him back back in 2014