Developer and refugee from Reddit

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Cake day: July 2nd, 2023

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  • Let’s think this through… The US Department of Education’s functions are primarily:

    1. Establishing policies on federal financial aid for education and distributing as well as monitoring those funds.
    2. Collecting data on America’s schools and disseminating research.
    3. Focusing national attention on key educational issues.
    4. Prohibiting discrimination and ensuring equal access to education.

    (Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Department_of_Education)

    Regarding #1, blue states don’t receive nearly as much in financial aid for schools as red states. So abolishing the DOE will reduce the tax burden on citizens living in blue states, at the expense of schools in red states.

    Regarding #2, without the DOE compiling this information, it will be up to schools themselves and private research organizations. Badly-performing, severely under-funded schools in red states will, of course, not be able to. Not that they would want to anyway, because without federal assistance, these schools will be in a state of collapse.

    Regarding #3, blue states will just focus attention on key educational issues for themselves, while red states focus on fixing their problems by getting bibles into classrooms.

    Regarding #4, red states will rapidly descend into systematic discrimination again.

    End result: No one will want to hire “graduates” from red states.

    This is a self-own of astonishing proportions. The blue states that don’t heavily depend on the DOE will manage, while the educational infrastructure in the red states completely falls apart. And businesses in need of skilled employees who can, y’know, read will recruit primarily in blue states.

    And the leopards will roam freely through the streets of MAGA-America, feasting on faces in unprecedented numbers.