That doesn’t sound normal if you are looking for comparisons tbh

It’s unwise to jump headfirst into a body of water unless you know what lies below. Start slow.

You talk about influencer stuff. I get that being an influencer doesn’t seem to be your sole desire, but I’ll use it as an example anyway. All of the YouTubers I follow didn’t start big. They did YouTube as a part time thing while still holding their main job. It was only to the point where they started really succeeding at YouTube that they dropped their original career.

I say go for it, but start small. Don’t quit your job for this until you start doing really well in it.

Lmaooo maybe that was an intentional look then

So I get that socially in most places it is not acceptable for women to go totally topless. We can argue about double standards, but I’ll let other people do that.

What I actually have noticed is that nowadays in a lot of Western cultures, women can get away with just wearing just a bra with no shirt in public. No, it’s still not being totally topless, but it is a lot better heat-wise than wearing both a bra and then a shirt on top. Just it can’t be like lingerie, but more like a sports bra or something. I’ve done it when heading into a shop after going for a run and not gotten any complains. I see others just occasionally walking around in something a sports bra when it’s hot out, not even relating to intense exercise. Try it.

You’re ok, OP! It’s normal to want to share and also normal to not want to share! Everyone is different! Some people are more “stoic”, introverted, quiet, etc. and there’s nothing wrong with that or you!

I think you should talk to your partner about how they feel about the fact that you don’t share much. Because we are all different, they may want you to open up a bit more or they may be indifferent towards it. Relationships are going to be a bit of a compromise.

But again, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being that way. :)

Edit: A lot of people have boring as fuck days too without much to share lol. If something interesting or funny happened during your day, your SO might appreciate a share!

My brain and body don’t immediately activate when I wake up.

Think of it like when you had to wait several minutes for Windows 98 to boot from a slow mechanical HDD platter lol!!

I’m generally pretty good at it when I am comfortable with someone. But when I am anxious or sad I cannot for the life of me make eye contact with anyone.

There was a dog I followed on YT who was supposedly named Cumlord. He was fucking adorable but unfortunately I think he passed away.

Weird. I haven’t flown recently. What happens if you get plastic surgery or into an accident or something?

You’re being down voted, but I feel you. It’s why I picked one of the largest instances when I joined, despite what other Lemmings tend to tell people to do. Picking a small instance is a bad idea because they die out like that. I’ve seen several fairly significant smaller instances die out at this point. I don’t want to wake up and my account suddenly vanished one day because the host forgot about it.

I’m really out of the loop. Why is lemm.ee shutting down? I thought it was one of the more sizeable instances.

Lmaoo omg I totally relate when you talk about kind of wishing you were just gay because it would be easier! I have thought about this myself, really! Honestly, sometimes I’m not even really sure because I do have a tendency to find the same sex attractive in my limited way. I’m probably on the bi and ace spectrums in some limited capacity, but sometimes it makes me wonder if it’s something hidden deep down inside somehow or wish to just be gay!

Thank you very much for sharing your story! I’m sorry to hear about your friend, btw. But I’m glad you got to share your life with them for so long. I’m lucky that I have a really good friend right now too at least! They have a family of their own so it’s not as if we can mutually prioritize each other to the same extent, but that’s ok.

Omg I had the same experience during puberty lol. Even into my late teens and early twenties, my mom would kind of bug me about it. When I still wasn’t taking anyone home, she used to drop hints that it would be ok if I was a lesbian and had a girlfriend lol! Thankfully at this point, people stop bringing it up haha.

Yeah I’m definitely working on trying to get rid of the FOMO at this point in time. I have a lot of great people in my life tbh and I’m trying to branch out and be a bit more social with things that scare me. But even if I do, I’ll never really have the “standard” human experience. Gotta figure out how to eventually be ok with that.

I’m not a spiritual or religious person, myself. I briefly looked into Taoism, but it seems that the westernized idealized version of it isn’t what Taoism necessarily is in reality.

Thanks for your offer to chat! Hope you don’t mind if I’m just giving a long winded response here lol.

I found out about asexuality in my teens. Even today, whenever I approach asexual communities, I find that most of them are filled with very young coming of age people who are so extremely “terminally online” to the point where it makes me a bit uncomfortable. And I’m saying this as someone who is terminally online myself. It’s difficult to explain what I mean and I hope I am not offending other asexuals out there. But it’s refreshing to hear from your perspective, as an asexual in the “real world”, with thoughts, feelings, and experiences based more in reality as opposed to in an online hypersensitive safety zone.

Hope the best for you!

I don’t think I’ve ever really spoken to an older asexual on the internet before. I know it’s a tangent from the main OP, but do you think you could expand on some things for me?

1. When did you realize that you were asexual? And how did you deal with it considering it’s a relatively new term that wouldn’t have really been spoken of when you were growing up.

2. Do you find your life fulfilling? I have a social need, but not a sexual need, so it makes it frustrating knowing that I need people, but that a relationship with 99% of the population doesn’t make sense. (Yes, you can find other asexuals out there, but we are exceedingly rare and there are not going to be many, if at all, in your same city.)

I’m younger than you, but not so young that my life as a whole is still being figured out or anything. I’m in my 30s and now secure in my career, but still struggle with social things and figuring out what I need for my life to be fulfilling. I’ve likely been a lifelong asexual. I’ve also never had a partner.

Anyway, sorry if that is too much to ask lol, but I was just curious!

That’s odd. I have lived in apartment complexes for a large portion of my life. There has always been a single outgoing mail slot with the rows of mailboxes at the apartment complexes. It blends in so it might not look too different than the rest of the bank of mailboxes. This is in the US though so idk how other countries handle it.

Weirdly I don’t think I’ve ever had a “phase” like other people seem to have gone through. Is this common enough to not have had something like that?

I guess it was possibly as a teen when I was being LOLRANDOM on internet forums. Not sure if that counts tho because I have always been an internet dweller.

It’s tricky for me though because I’ve always had a social need. I don’t have a need for sex like the majority of other humans do, but I do have a need to be social. Lickily I fulfill most of my social needs by going to work, but it can be stressful at times.

Yes, they accuse me of “overthinking” things a lot in general. But they don’t realize that I have to do this in order to try to do things more correctly. Lack of enough thought is what gets me into these kinds of situations, you know?

I’m definitely not imagining most of these. If everyone is happily smiling and chatting away, and then I make a mistake which causes a sudden change in facial expression, curt response, and the sudden end of a flowing conversation, then it’s not my imagination.

Coworker 3 is the most lenient/forgiving of them, but issues still arise with them too.

No, I don’t currently pause between each sentence. Usually conversation flows quite smoothly. But it flows until I make a grave error and then it shuts down catastrophically. My question was saying “how can I think before I speak” because pausing after each sentence would be incredibly jarring and not work with conversational flow if that makes sense.

Coworker 3 has occasionally asked that out of genuine concern when I have been having a bad time. But it’s a trick question because I’m not supposed to respond that I am having a bad time. It is the incorrect response and will make them upset, even if they tell me that I can be honest. It’s very confusing because coworker 3 will occasionally tell me that it’s ok to come to them with things, but the reality is that isn’t true. If I do that, it makes them upset. So one of the biggest things is that I have worked to not tell coworker 3 when something is bothering me and not share feelings like this with them. But it is confusing when they do things that indicate that it’s ok and welcomed for me to do so when it isn’t. They say one thing but I am supposed to act in a way that is discordant with what they indicate, which is confusing.

And sometimes coworker 3 likes to discuss serious topics. So I sometimes accidentally say something about the topic with too much emotion in my voice or something or the wrong statement in general and then I fuck up the whole thing.

I get that I am truly a horrible person, truly. I struggle with that every day. I did try to apologize to my coworker in that instance, but they were not at all receptive to it. Usually the things that I say that get reactions like that are much more innocuous…like letting coworker 2 know that they can leave early (we are salaried and still get a full days pay if we leave early). Or apologizing to coworker 2 that I was freaking out about a work related task simply because I was anxious about it.

But no, coworker 1 is on a level that is difficult for me to describe. Coworker 1 causes issues with almost everyone they come in contact with including the leaders of many different departments. It has been so bad with coworker 1 that they have made me think that I was going to get fired and/or made me want to quit my job. Coworker 1 has had multiple complaints filed against them to HR by multiple different people. To my knowledge, that has not occurred on my end at all.

So coworker 1 is a bit dangerous to interact with, hence many of us do so minimally.