Not specifically a joke, but more intended to make thought processes skip a little and to amuse:

My friend: “Didn’t they teach you grammar at school?”

Me: “no, she didn’t go there.”

–

…and, if anyone ever tells me to check my pronunciation, I snap back quickly and say it should be pronOUNCEiation, while acting as serious as possible.

–

In around 20 years I have gotten about 30 blank stares and one giggle, once. It was completely worth it.

Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.

“A”. New-wave metal punk. They supported The Offspring back in 2000 when they were touring and blew them completely out of the water (and The Offspring are GREAT live too) and they have been my favourite band ever since.

I HIGHLY recommend their album “Monkey Kong” with some decent headphones.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fkfA9Z2vL9M&pp=ygUQYSB2cyBtb25rZXkga29uZw%3D%3D