Breaking: Gaetz no longer in consideration for Trump White House role. Trump says on Truth Social, “those are rookie numbers! You gotta more bigly those numbers!”

Nah, fuck no. Sure, he’d been self-radicalizing for a while but Musk declared his change of allegiance literally hours after the story broke about him propositioning a SpaceX employee to join the Mile High club with him in exchange for a horse. He saw the #metoo train coming for him and decided to throw in with the guys who see that shit as a badge of honor, simple as.