Humidifiers.

It’s just a pool of water with a little nebulizer and a fan to blow the mist out a chimney.

Trouble is, they’re all made by the fucking plague demon Nurgle with the sole purpose of aerosolizing mold and bacteria by having the tiniest nooks and crannies than cannot be reached to be physically cleaned.

And before I get the “you gotta clean it with vinegar every week” comment, two points:

1. You don’t soak your hands in soap and rinse them off and call them clean. You gotta scrub them.
2. Am I supposed to fill a 5 gallon bucket with vinegar to soak the whole water tank every week? Because the chimney goes right through that bitch.

Don’t forget the costs of desperately trying to rehire critical employees, rebuilding essential agencies, and the environmental and human toll for yielding oversight to corporate greed!

It’s like The Purge, except for paying off the foreign benefactors that helped install this government and securing federal funds to finance his inevitable scorched-earth exit.

No, but you see, bribing foreign officials is beneficial to America because it demonstrates how impressively wealthy America is, which in turn strengthens the US economy. The Radical Left will tell you that it’s a cheap way to gloss over funneling federal funds out of the country to support the president in his retirement, forced or otherwise. They’ll throw their hateful words like “treason” the same way they accused Daddy Musk’s deliberate double show of unifying love as a Nazi salute.

They’re just death-like symptoms. It’s because he’s autistic and it’s a hate crime to investigate further.