One thing that snapped me out of that phase was a psychology professor saying your actions define what you are.

I don’t think there are as many edgelords anymore anyways. Since the Trump MAGA era nobody pretends. It’s all out in the open now. You either are or you aren’t. Nobody hides behind the “it’s just a joke bro” stuff like in the older internet eras. The bigots aren’t hiding their power level anymore.

That’s what shattered the illusion of Christianity for me as a younger person. Horrible individuals hiding behind an institutional veil of morals.

The past ten years have been even more illuminating. As all of these sorts of issues have been brought to the forefront. One of the common themes I’ve noticed is that the Venn diagram of these types of Christians / conservatives is the overlap is nearly a perfect circle with abusers.