Carighan Maconar

The strength of life to face oneself has been made manifest. The persona Carighan has appeared.

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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 1st, 2023

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  • I mean the girl said he used to message her sending her memes and saying she looks good but if he’s with me I’d expect him to atleast unfollow her??

    I mean, if it’s a typical account on the web, it’s more like a performance? Much like any porn actress (these accounts are ultimately softcore porn wanting to sell you their hardcore stuff) it’s an act, it’s in the name.
    Comparing yourself with an actress never sits quite right with me. Plus we only ever see the small acting part of the person. If you listen to podcasts, Holly Randall’s interviews with various porn actresses and actors has some fascinating insights into the parts we don’t see, and like and actor or actress they’re not at all the people they appear to be.

    And I gotta ask… if it weren’t softcore porn, would it be weird for your partner to be following an actress, and/or being acquainted to them?

    He has problems getting hard when we do it which makes me question if he’s thinking about something else but he gets mad when this happens to him lol

    This is something you need to talk about. To guys it can be utterly damaging to their ego, it’s less about being mentally not there, but about discussing openly why it happens. After all, it could be anything. It could be nervousness. It could be that he enjoys things differently, and maybe you do, too. It could be medical. It could be circumstantial (e.g. my current partner cannot become horny after dinner for a while, that’s just how it is 😅, body too focused on digestion).
    It’s impossible to say, but it’s also really not something to sweep under the rug or belittle. And this is not meant to sound accusatory, it would not be something to sweep under the rug if it’s on your side either.

    Talk about it. Discuss sexy and non-sexy things. Details. Kinks. Planning out sex feels weird at first, but it’s sooooo freeing when you openly know every little detail that gets your partner hornier, and you can totally play them, and importantly you also know they’d let you know the moment they want something different.


  • I mean he likes my Posts but not my stories. Idk.

    That sounds weird to me. As in, why does it bother you? It’s just Instagram, you have an actual connection, I’d probably feel more weird if my long-distance partner likes my online stuff than if they don’t.

    As in, I want them to like me in a proper way, talk to me, open up to me, want to be with me, desire me, that stuff. I don’t need the fake validation that is online +1’s from someone I want a genuine connection with, and while I don’t truly mind them honestly if I had to choose, I’d prefer to do without them.

    That is to say, my partner sometimes comments on a status I post or so. But unlike randoms and aquaintences, they don’t do it by replying to them, they tell me about it in a voicechat. That’s the meaningful connection, and why would I want both.

    I like him a lot but sometimes I think I might not be ready for a relationship with these jealousies lol

    Maybe, maybe not. But don’t let the doubt eat away at you either. It’s a learning experience, and it’s an important one to have. Now mind you my ability to truly give advise will be limited (I’m twice your age 🙈 ). But in my 20s I was far more unsure about what I wanted, what I can do, what I cannot do and what works for me, too. It took until my late 20s and with my then-partner asking for whether they can have a side-piece (wanting to try sex with their own gender) and oddly feeling… entirely okay with that… to truly understand that there’s nothing you should never talk about in a relationship, it just has to be an open, non-judgement and non-confrontational discussion, based on the truth that both parties in a relationship never stop learning about both themselves and the other.
    We talked about it. A lot. About what we’d do if they found a person they like more than me, etc. About what our boundaries are. About whether we want to try stuff together, and if yes, what. And honestly, that was a huge learning experience for me, nowadays I have an FwB, am into various kinks quite openly, and for example my partner being non-monogamous would really not bother me, as long as enough trust exists in the relationship. But this would have absolutely killed me back in the days.

    Sorry, long way to say: Talk more about it. Posting here isn’t a bad step, but we can only help you so much as like +1’s you get on the internet, we’re not “real” connections of the type where you should be discussing these things. Your partner is a very good one, OTOH. Your closest friends might be. Can’t judge that very well from afar, sorry.





  • Well, what do the duty declaration and duty tracking sticker say?

    At least over here there ought to be one that tells you what the seller declared the goods and their value as, and another that tells you either the specifics of the duty fee calculated, or one with a large (over here) letter+number combination that tells you which standard category this falls under (usually for duty free packages).

    50 on 300 is is ~17%, so that’s a pretty normal duty depending on the goods and which country they originate from.


  • Sure, but as you cannot know the future, it’s a bit tricky to pick a successor you want to support based on that, instead of absolutely right-now-essential things such as “Where people actually are”.

    It’s also important to keep in mind how long Twitter’s run was: It was originally founded 18 years ago. I’d be okay if every 10-15 years I have to get a new Twitter, tbh. I buy a new phone every 4-5 years, a new car every 15-20, I’m alright. It’s cheap to go onto a new Twitter, I’m far less resistant to change with that.

    That is to say: Sure, maaaybe (again, can’t truly know) Mastodon is superior on a technical level. But not only is that absolutely not how social media operates, and second it really doesn’t matter if a sucessor also goes down in 10+ years. People won’t be able to care any less if a successor lasts that long, and considering how quickly Mastodon has turned into a semi-ghost-town once Bluesky got big, I kinda know what I’d put my money onto.

    Of course all of this ignores a central problem with the entire category of services: They don’t conduct conversations well, even stuff like Misskey or Mastodon.