Only one way to find out! YOLO!

I’d probably do nothing, since the safest thing I could very likely do would always be to stay inside and sleep all day. Going out to subject myself to cars is probably always more risky.

Change to delivery of food instead of getting it myself. Exercise more often at my home gym. Not meet anyone so as to reduce disease vectors. Just in general really do much less.

That’s a good question, but I’d rather like to know if you have ever had a dream that you, um, you had, your, you- you could, you’ll do, you- you wants, you, you could do so, you- you’ll do, you could- you, you want, you want them to do you so much you could do anything?

Wasn’t objectively very funny, but we were fucking in like a standing position next to the bed and she started leaning forward, I started leaning forward, and we just tumbled onto the bed in a mess of appendages. Had to stop for a while because we were laughing so hard 🤣

Home. Travelling is expensive, destroying the climate, and simply not necessary to relax and have a good time.

Me and the people I love growing, finding more love

Ghost them back. Or sometimes ask politely “so that’s it?” and then continue ghosting them.

There’s really nothing you can or should do, except move on.

You are such a silly goose, I love it

As always, there’s multiple reasons for things. You did a great job breaking down as much as possible :) the other comments are all right, but you are comprehensive :)

I’m not sure what you mean exactly… Just looked in my block list and I’ve blocked yiffit.net and like 6 or so anime communities, and I don’t remember the last time I had anime in my all feed.

As corollary to the other comments, lemmyverse.net to find non-political communities to subscribe to.

I mean this is unironically how it should go. People* don’t change because you tell them some good arguments. They change because they’ll be confronted by the consequences of their actions, and the hurt that comes along with it. It’s unfortunate but it has never been different for our species.

*if you are socialized in a way to see the value in good arguments, admitting of being wrong, then arguments may work. But not by default.

I really hope most people got this reference :)

This is an amazing thread to collect answers to people’s security questions, thanks!

Well yeah, but that doesn’t invalidate the “tolerance is a social contract” mentality, it invalidates baseless accusations and extreme hostility. What I said is the actual intended result of the “don’t tolerate intolerance” mentality. If that is fine with you, then you don’t actually have any issue with the mentality itself, but with the implementation.

So what is the alternative to “downvoting” someone’s opinion? You can’t support it, obviously, that would be stupid. I just see no other way than “downvoting”, saying “well, I see where you’re coming from, but your opinion is wrong and doesn’t achieve what you want”.

The question is what you mean with “too much self-awareness”, which you haven’t said. I strongly assume that what you’re talking about isn’t self-awareness at all, but self-worth issues.

Because just knowing yourself… is simply never a bad thing. If it is, then it isn’t the thing you’re talking about.

New things. I simply can’t stay with anything. Makes it basically impossible to have any decent job, because people want and expect you to be an expert at what you do.

You’ve already taken the first step. You want to.

This is not some thing you can just adopt whenever you want, like putting the plates on the right side of the dishwasher instead of the left. This will require some serious continuous practice.

Basically, to retrain your reaction to things, you must 1. understand why your current/natural reaction is undesirable 2. understand which reaction you think is desireable 3. Repeatedly expose yourself to the situation that triggers your reaction with the main goal to change your reaction.

1. and 2. requires you to continually remind yourself of these beliefs. You will forget when you slip back into your natural reaction.

3. is not easy. You can’t just manufacture adversity. It has to be real. It’s very easy to have a specific controlled reaction to something fake. So essentially, you just continue as normal, risk things, always keeping in mind that you can face adversity. You mentally prepare yourself for it so you can notice when it happens. “When I start this new job, people might be offended when I tell them I don’t want to talk to them. That is fine. I accept that they can be offended, because rejection is not a nice thing to experience, and that is what I do to them. However, I prefer this to having to suffer through their rambling. I know that this will likely cause them to help me less or actively oppose me, and I am fine with that outcome.”…

And then you just do it anyway. When your setback happens, you will first feel frustrated. But then eventually you will get a rational moment. See what is happening to you again. And then you can remember what you’ve been thinking so far. That it’s ok for this to happen. That being frustrated by it achieves nothing. And whatever else you figured out with 1. and 2. Each thing you remember should help you let go. Taking deep breaths and other relaxation techniques help with letting go.

And the result should be that you’re slightly less frustrated, for a slightly shorter time than you would’ve been without doing all this. It’s still essentially the same strength the first time, but it should be a little less.

And then you have another disappointment. That time, doing the same thing, it should sting even less and for even shorter. And so on and so on.

For me, I’m not sure how long and how many things it took. I know it was quite a few and over quite some years. Now, when I feel this frustration, it’s just a slight tinge for a few seconds at most, when I remember what I believe and that I’m fine with this, and then I can already completely let it go. Like others said, it’s a completely natural reaction, you might still feel like that. But eventually you’re so good at letting go that it takes mere seconds and then you’re completely fine.

It doesn’t rub me the wrong way because it’s incredibly understandable. People are generally jealous, people have hangups with trust, people want to feel powerful.

Whatever the guy’s reason is exactly, he is essentially not fine with what his wife wants to do, and even if she is completely fine with not doing something to alleviate her husband’s uncomfortableness, the need to do so in the first place is simply sad. It would just be optimal if everyone could do whatever they want at all times.

I make it a point to figure out my issues (why am I uncomfortable with something?) and if it makes sense to get rid of it, to get rid of it. It’d be nice if everyone did that but people are often just not in a mental place to be able to do that.

So in the end, I do very much understand what you mean, however I don’t really get upset by this. It’s incredibly common to “restrict” your partner like this, I mean, monogamy itself is already a restriction. So like you said, you should just let people do what they do, and be happy that it’s not like that for you.