For me it was the fact that I would always be slower than everyone else and I would have to put in twice the effort.
It’s been 9 years, I’m married again (happily), and my ex-wife is never coming back.
It’s difficult to go from best friends who tell eachother everything, to strangers.
It took a lot of therapy for me to realize that we both played a part in our marriage ending, and it wasn’t all my fault. But, I also learned in the process that my childhood really screwed me up, and I needed to deal with it, and reconcile with the fact that I didn’t have a loving childhood. The abuse, both verbal, physical, and sexual has had a lasting effect on me as an adult.
But, most importantly, I learned that I can heal from all of it, and grow as a person.
I think she’s happy now, and so am I. So even though I still miss her once im a while, I know things worked out for the best.
I’m honestly happy for you mate, glad you are happy again 💯
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People die unexpectedly. Tell anyone and everyone that you love verbally that you love them (even if it’s man to man). Don’t leave anyone guessing as to how you felt about them.
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Not everyone is a friend for life, even if you’ve been friends for 5/10/20/40/80 years.
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People change and you can’t control that.
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Recording the people you love speaking; preferably while you ask them about their lives. See #1
Would really suck to be betrayed after eighty years of friendship.
Yes.
Not on that level but I’ve lost a friend because we were both a little stubborn. I’ll be the first to admit I didn’t handle the situation well (granted, we were all drunk).
But, that friend also needs to acknowledge that they too did not handle what happened in the best way and not double down by threatening to sue other friends that were at the event for a orior year’s issue.
It’s a giant mess. The last thing I told them ~2.6 years ago was that this didn’t have to be a friendship ending event. And here we are; haven’t spoken since then. Some days I miss them and other days I wonder if I’m better off without them and the energy they bring.
Uh…what happened?
That’s all I have to say about that.
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People are disappointing, even family
I feel this in my soul unfortunately. Learned some wild stuff about my family not too long ago and it’s hard to reconcile things now.
Same, not recent but I have a long list of eye opening facts I’ve collected throughout my life. Eventually you just accept it all. It’s not been easy to get to this point, it took a lot of mental anguish to get this numb to it all.
Disappointing doesn’t even feel like a strong enough word.
How about disgustipated?
Blood doesn’t make someone family; the bonds we form with someone make them family.
Where will be a last time we do something in our lives for everything
One day your parents put you down for the last time and never picked you back up.
I’ll probably die a virgin. They won’t be able to come up with a movie about that. Lame.
I’ll never be the same again after my brain injury.
In some ways thats a good thing but Im not 100# sure I’ll get all the walking stuff back exactly
That an unfortunately large portion of my family are stupid MAGA’ts. I always knew they weren’t exactly tip top in the faculties department but they usually had the right directions. That’s shits completely gone now. Sort of in relation to that. Just how dumb the average level is. The lack of troubleshooting capabilities, the disregard of knowledge, the irrational hate for the ‘other’ the just complete contempt for anyone who doesn’t directly effect you day to day. The schdenfraude from the faceless trump voters is a nice trickle but it’s becoming maddening how much of it there is. I’m finally beginning to understand the need for so much history in school. Unfortunately there is an uncomfortably large portion of the population that simply can’t learn from words and can only understand experience. It almost feels like a hidden great filter.
It’s that i won’t be having a long full life like my parents and I will have a much suffering up to my painful death.
Here’s to you, Nicolo and Bart,
Rest forever, here in our hearts,
The last and final moment is yours,
And agony is your triumph
F
They never loved me and I’ll be ok without them
Lemmy loves you.
The fact I don’t have chocolate right now
It is very hard and sad, knowing my house has no easily consumed chocolate.
I could make some chocolate peppermint crinkle cookies but that would take awhile… why can’t chocolate just appear next to me right next to my drink! Alas.
You know what? Do it! It will be fun! Put on some music, start baking and at the end you’ll have cookies for days + you can share with people
Once all my cooking bowls are cleaned, I’ll make some! We had waffles this morning, so all the cooking bowls are dirty.
Oh right Ihad some chocolate on those waffles.
I need more! We all need more.
Must have more
not to sound corny, but becoming self aware of who I am a couple of years ago and identifying the best path forward. since then, my life has been so much better.
its really hard to admit to yourself what your faults are, but once you do, the next steps should work on how to fix the problem and not beat yourself up over it. I’m not exagerating when I say I’ve never been happier.
That misinformation is too hard to fight.
i’m convinced that calling it misinformation is part of the problem.
misinformation is the proper word for it, but the word carries with it the connotation that it’s intentional or ill willed; so misinformation that doesn’t seem to have either are given a pass.
for example: take the piece of misinformation that you shouldn’t go swimming 30 minutes after you’ve eaten; it’s misinformation like any other but allowed to perpetuate because it doesn’t seem ill willed or intentional.
that means that any misinformation that seems innocent is allowed to perpetuate and that’s how propaganda takes hold; repeat it enough times and it seems like an established & unquestionable fact and, therefore, innocent, so it flies under the rather and keeps getting perpetuated as fact like the misinformation with swimming & eating
I’m more struggling with the intentional and ill-willed type.
and you’ll forever be struggling with it because that type is impossible to distinguish from the other type if you don’t have the right frame of reference to detect it.
your experience with eating and swimming gives you a frame of reference that lets you detect that swimming less than 30 minutes after eating is bullshit, so you’re able to recognize it as the misinformation that it is and having a proper frame of reference like this is the only way to combat any misinformation.
it’s impossible for anyone to have a frame of reference so broad that they can detect all misinformation; not even a group of people can either. becoming something of an expert on the subject of the misinformation is the only thing you can to do help it and, even then, being an expert is relative.
instead, you have to see misinformation as weeds in a mental garden that you will forever have to keep maintaining for your entire life; more weeds will always find their way into your garden and it’s up to you to keep clearing them out so that your flowers can shine through and recognize when the flowers you’ve chosen are the wrong ones for the garden.
Right, but this isn’t weeds in my garden, this is someone intentionally dumping toxic waste that’s killing me and anything I try to grow, including any weeds that might have tried popping up.
the weeds are the misinformation and if those are getting killed off too; then your problem isn’t misinformation.
Weeds are a healthy part of the environment and soil restoration.
Malicious misinformation is toxic and prevents anything healthy from growing.
I relate to your situation OP.
I have ADHD and I think the hardest part about living with it is coming to terms to the fact that I’ll have to constantly put in more effort to meet the neurotypical standards for school and work. It’s exhausting to have to mange my symptoms in a world where every task throughout my day is designed to be preformed within a set time frame and getting off-track, even for a little while, even if it’s unintentional is seen as incompetence. I struggle to be able to let myself relax especially when I’m overstimulated due to this. Luckily, my country is pretty progressive and workplaces are schools are required to provide accommodations but unfortunately, that doesn’t mean that everyone will take my needs seriously.
Let me tell you a short story about Kevin.
He had the same realization, so he went to trade school to avoid the parts of education that involved a lot of studying in the traditional sense. So he ended up as a decent welder.
Fast forward a few “normal” jobs where he couldn’t quite fit because of the everyday drudgery of working either as a maintenance man or a factory worker, doing the same things over and over: He ended up applying to a job where the tag line was basically “no days are the same”
He started working with sea fastening. You know those ships with a large superstructure in front of a completely flat back deck? His employer was in charge of all sorts of fittings and welds onboard ships so that containerized systems could be easily mounted in a secure manner.
And said company was usually contracted by my former AND current employer to do the sea fastening aspect of mobilization.
And yes, Kevin is a real person. And as soon as I see his name on the personnel list, I know it’s all going to go well and be a lot of fun while we’re at it. Kevin and I have been drunk on all continents together. (Well, except from Antarctica… so far). Be it occupying a Texas BBQ joint for an entire day while doing the layout planning from there, or chilling (literally) in a Singapore pool after a long days work.
Oh yes, ADHD… he mentioned that he probably wouldn’t have ended up where he was without it. I’m not saying his situation is universally transferable, but it’s all about finding ones element.
His only ADHD-related failing that I’ve noticed is that he usually struggles with airports. But that’s fine - we usually park our asses in a quiet airport lounge anyway.
I’m looking into doing something similar to Kevin, I want a job that’s more flexible but I’m worried that jobs like that won’t pay great. I settled on becoming an ultrasound tech because the college program incorporates a lot of hands on training, considering it’s in the medical field it’s a well paying and secure job. But, I do wonder if it’s truly right more me sometimes…
A flexible job is one thing. But a job that requires a flexible person is something else entirely. Kevin is paid quite handsomely for his willingness to pack his gear and fly halfway around the world to do his thing on short notice.
I suspect that for every ADHD person like Kevin, there are a dozen struggling because they can’t find the right job (probably not least because the act of job-hunting is itself terrible for people with ADHD).
At least you seem to have self awareness and insight, which is more than most people.
That I was being complacent to support animal cruelty just because I liked egg salad and cream cheese.
I was vegetarian for 7 years. I thought that only obvious things like meat and leather involved animal cruelty.
I was very wrong. And when people showed me I was wrong, I took a good while to process it. “But the cow needs to be alive for milk. But the chicken needs to be alive for eggs. Surely it’s not THAT bad”.
It’s a lot worse than that bad. Once it fully got through my skull just what kind of cruel practices were involved, not by choice l, but by industry NECESSITY, with the animal products that felt safe, I broke down crying while I was trying to reconcile the fact that I was letting my taste buds drive me to support terrible things.
I did finally quit. These days I don’t really miss much, food wise. And life lesson wise, it helps enable me to be a less unethical consumer. A store/product is involved with something morally terrible, like donating a lot of money to fascism? Welp, bye! No more money for you from me!
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