so let’s have one

spoiler alert: not everything totally fucking sucks.

good news is out there — you just have to go looking for it. so today, let’s do exactly that.

bear with me, this is another longish post. but it’s all good news.

Good News number one: a lot of this shit has been flying under the radar, but judges and courts continue to cordially invite Donny — along with his like-minded flunkies and acolytes — to go fuck themselves.

here’s one that was definitely under the radar.

long story short: back during the 2024 campaign, three days before the election, the Des Moines Register published a poll showing mean old Kamala Harris with a three-point lead over God’s Own Avatar on Earth. of course, that’s not what happened. Donny won Iowa by 18 points — but because Donny is the most-broken-inside piss-baby in the universe, instead of forgetting about the one bad poll and getting on with his infuriatingly charmed life, he went ballistic and sued the paper and the pollster, for being very very mean to him.

yesterday, an Iowa district court shitcanned the lawsuit, ruling that there’s no First Amendment exclusion for being a dumbfuck who got his feeling hurt by words.

the score: justice 1, morons 0.

this next case involves some shit-kazoo sheriff who got his own feelings hurt by ballots.

The California Supreme Court on Thursday ordered a county sheriff to return about 650,000 ballots he had seized from election officials as part of an investigation into voter fraud that state officials said had no basis in fact.

what we have here is just one more MAGA numb-nuts who was so saddened by an election that didn’t go his way, that he took it upon himself to confiscate a bunch of ballots, because reasons.

this is just one more way in which Donny has broken our nation. now, every dipshit on the losing end of an election believes they have the right to meddle with the results.

ace job, Donny.

the California Supreme Court shut that shit down pronto, ruling that doing your own research after an election isn’t a thing, even if you’re some high-on-your-own-supply cultist with a gun and a badge.

the score: justice 2, morons 0.

the third case deals with an appeals court ruling that Donny can’t disappear immigrants without due process.

The Trump administration scrambled on Thursday to halt a number of imminent deportations after an appeals court blocked authorities from expelling people to third countries without a chance to contest their cases, according to documents obtained by The New York Times.

we’re really on a roll here. the score: justice 3, morons 0.

and then we have the whole shittacular farce that played out this week, with Diaper Nurse Natalie sweet-talking Donny into banning CNN, MSNOW and Politico from the White House — which, by the way, is the latest wrinkle in the story: that it was Nurse Natty, taking advantage of Chief of Staff Susie Wiles being away on vacation, who convinced Dear Leader that a media ban would be totes awesome.

my god, it’s like a high school lunchroom. there really are no adults at all in the White House.

anyway, in short order: in the middle of the night on Wednesday, a judge blocked the ban and reinstated the three networks’ access. then, on Thursday morning, when they reporters showed up for work, the White House was ‘all nuh-oh, you can’t come in, we don’t want to get your cooties.’

so it was right back to court for everyone involved, where the judge was all, ***‘what in the actual fuck?’ *****and reinstated the reinstated access. **double-reinstated, boo-yah!

are you all still following me? oh, good.

so, everything at that point was hunky-dory, with the reporters finally being allowed to do their jobs. but then, when it came time to cover last night’s state dinner for China’s President Xi, MSNOW and CNN were once again barred from attending, because reasons.

so now, presumably, it will be back to court again this morning.

the score: justice 3.5, morons .5.

Good News number two: even the loyalists at Fox News seem to finally be getting exasperated with Dear Leader.

just look at how glum Stuart Varney is, as he lays out what Donny hath wrought.

“those polls showed 51% would vote Democrat, for a Democrat candidate, 43% for a Republican. why is this happening? four dollar gas, six dollar diesel, seven percent mortgages, the ongoing war, and the president is less popular personally than at any time in his second term. his attempts to reverse the trend have fallen flat. five thousand dollar checks for everyone didn’t fly, and the ban on diesel exports won’t work. if this trend continues, Republicans will lose the House, and maybe the Senate. thirty-nine days to the vote. if that happens, say goodbye to what’s left of the Trump agenda.”

“say goodbye to what’s left of the Trump agenda”?

don’t threaten me with a good time, Stu.

after the 2024 election, Republicans had the golden goose: the House, the Senate, the presidency were all theirs, and they could do anything they wanted. Donny took that golden goose and clownfucked it so hard that their agenda currently lies in tatters — and now, far too late to do anything about it, Republicans are waking up to the fact that maybe this guy wasn’t the answer.

boo fucking hoo.

Good News number three: the First Couple continue to make each other miserable.

look at these two lovebirds. have you ever seen a two people more head-over-heels smitten with each other?

seriously, Melly’s in shitfit mode because her whole weekend has been ruined by having to pretend to geef a fock about the husband whom she loathes, and his playdate with what’s-his-face from China or wherever. look, it’s enough that Melania deigned to show up. please don’t ask her to bother to learn anyone’s name, or where they’re from.

and as for Donny, he just realized that he and his diaper nurse can’t spend the weekend canoodling.

Good News number four: Dear Leader can’t stop being a clownshoes buffoon.

can anyone tell me what is going on with Donny’s ass? every time he’s out in public these days, he looks like he’s smuggling a microwave oven back there.

what can possibly be going on? is he wearing some kind of medical device? has Natalie chosen to make things easier for herself by having Donny wear all the diapers at once?

look, if anyone knows what’s happening, it would be Google’s janky, six-fingered plagiarism robot, am I right? that homey’s infallible. so let’s ask it. hey, plagiarism robot — what the fuck is going on with Dear Leader’s ass?

There is no factual or medical news regarding Donald Trump’s health or physical condition concerning his lower back or posture.

you’re no fun, plagiarism robot — but you do get bonus points for knowing who I was referring to when I said ‘Dear Leader.’

Good News number five: Dear Leader continues to deteriorate, both physically and mentally.

yesterday, Donny had exactly one job: to walk in a straight line for six feet, without fucking that shit up.

spoiler alert: he fucked that shit up.

Donny can’t even manage to walk on his side of the red carpet. he keeps meandering to his left, forcing his Slovenian rent-a-wife to walk on the bare concrete of the Epstein Parking Lot where the Rose Garden used to be.

was it Donny’s frontotemporal dementia that caused him to veer? or was he deliberately being a dick to Melania, just because he could?

who cares? either way, that shit’s hilarious.