Reliability, patience, kindness, interest.

Previously, many fathers didn’t even change diapers. Reliably being there for your kid day after day, from diapers to little league games, are all important.

Patience because kids try new things in a new world they are still figuring out, and to you it might seem intentionally pushing buttons but they are literally new.

Kindness, because while you are dealing with them having a rough day causing you to have a rough day, you need to be kind to both yourself for getting frustrated and them. Life is rough, we don’t need to make it moreso for anyone.

Interest, because no one should feel like no one is on their side, like no one understands them. Encourage them for things they are interested. Be interested in what they have to say even when they are just telling you they saw a rock, because they just learned what a rock is. They will keep going to you and tell you all the things they are doing later in life too, and you will have a better overall relationship.

Adopting a child that needs a famiy, not creating one that needed nothing.

So when I was a child, my dad was a violent, alcoholic, asshole. And for a long time, that’s the only perspective I had of him. Now that I’m older and there are children around me, I can appreciate that he, for all of his glaring faults, was always present. Some dads aren’t that way. He was always there and always held us accountable and always to a high standard: nothing ever slipped.

In my case, the penalty inflicted for not meeting those standards was terrible… but as an adult I can have respect and some admiration for a father who makes time everyday to interact with his child, help them be aware of his or her responsibilities, and help the child meet them.