folks, the ‘fuck your feelings’ crowd is having a lot of feelings right now.

Milo Yiannopoulos, the fascist-adjacent grifter-slash-provocateur-slash-pedophilia-apologist, was detained by ICE on Thursday, and then swiftly deported back to his native Great Britain.

let me say, right up top: fuck ICE — and fuck Milo, too. there are no good guys in this story. Milo totally fucking sucks, and at the same time, masked federal goons should not be roaming our airports, looking for people to persecute. both things are true.

that said, let me give you my dispassionate take on Milo’s plight:

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

seriously, fuck that guy.

in case you need a little catching up, here’s the long-story-short of it. Milo Yiannopoulos, a British citizen, a MAGA grifter, and a complete piece of fascist shit, entered the US in May of 2019, to work as a sort of resident shit-kazoo for the far-right Breitbart News. he got summarily shitcanned for being a total embarrassment, after he opined that wanting to have sex with little boys was totes understandable. he overstayed his visa, blew off an immigration hearing last month, was detained by ICE on Thursday at Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport, and deported the very next day.

all caught up? good, because the other thing you need to know about Milo is that he clearly never though the leopards were going to eat his face.

California needs ICE checkpoints at supermarket entrances, gas stations, strip malls, intersections and government buildings, with on the spot deportation for anyone who can’t prove they are in the US legally.

**wait a minute, wait a minute — are you telling me that the fascist little shit who called for ICE checkpoints everywhere, with swift deportations for anyone found to be in the country illegally, **got nabbed at an ICE checkpoint and was swiftly deported after being found in the country illegally?

. . . oh, you know who else never thought the leopards would eat Milo’s face? the entire MAGAsphere, that’s who. pour one out for the cultists, they’re going through some things right now.

Milo Yiannopoulos is as spiritually American as it can get. I hope this misunderstanding is corrected!

we all know what Pizzagate Mike Cernovich really means when he calls Milo ‘spiritually American’ — he means Milo’s white, and what the fuck is ICE doing, deporting a white guy? that’s not the way it’s supposed to work! 

oh, and I hate to be the one to break it to Pizzagate Mike, but the deportation of Milo was no ‘misunderstanding.’

au contraire, mon frère — he was targeted. DHS was super fucking proud of their work. they made an example out of Milo, posting a mugshot of him looking very very very sadup onto Elon’s Nazi Bar and Child Porn Emporium.

look how sad Saddy McSadsad is — so sad.

so, all of this raises the question: why target Milo? he seems right up fascism’s alley, doesn’t he? well, the best answer I can give you is because reasons.

Milo had broken with the Donnyverse, and aligned himself with roasted-ball-sack aficionado Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson, who now totally fucking hates Dear Leader and is trying get him out of office. Milo also worked for a while as an unpaid intern for the now-unpersonned Marjorie Three-Toes Greene, who has also aligned herself with Roasted McBallsack. Three-Toes is not very happy with the treatment Milo’s gotten.

All laws must be enforced. So when is the admin going to obey the law and release all of the Epstein files? Or prosecute the pedos and rapists in the files? I guess you all are too busy with Milo after he criticized Israel killing kids in Gaza.

for fuck’s sake Marge, stop breaking our hearts.

look, I warned you that there were no good guys in this story.

and then there’s Laura Loomer.

Milo and Loopy Laura fucking hate each other. why? um, because reasons. it doesn’t matter why. what matters is that Loopy is taking credit for getting Milo deported.

LOOMERED 

Milo Yiannopoulos is in ICE custody after I exposed his illegal alien lifestyle.

holy shit! this is like, ‘what if the worst people in the world all turned on each other, and started started one big fucking clownfight?’

of course, this is exactly what’s going on. fascists always turn on each other, in an insatiable quest for power. 

the Nazis had their ‘Night of the Long Knives.’

In Germany, Nazi leader Adolf Hitler orders a bloody purge of his own political party, assassinating hundreds of Nazis whom he believed had the potential to become political enemies in the future. The event became known as the Night of the Long Knives.

it’s pretty weird how everything the Donnyverse does, the Nazis did first. what a crazy bunch of coincidences.

anyway, Loopy Laura’s boast about getting Milo deported is actually kind of credible. she does have Dear Leader’s ear.

remember, for a while back there in December 2024, Laura was a sort of Diaper Nurse 1.0, constantly by Donny’s side — except in Loomer’s case, his minders were successful in having her banished.

so it’s totally conceivable that Laura Loomer pulled a few strings, and it was all buh-bye, Milo.

or, it’s entirely possible that Laura is just talking shit, for the millionth time in her attention-addicted life. I did warn you that everyone in this story totally fucking sucks.