I remember my cousin telling me that Obama was the most violent president ever. I asked what that meant and he said that Obama was promoting violence and trying to start a civil war. I asked how Obama was doing such a bad job of promoting violence since violent crimes were going down.

He told me that Obama was trying to start a civil war by riling up “the blacks.” I asked what Obama was saying to rile up “the blacks.” He told me that Obama was a racist, so I asked what were some of the racist things that Obama said. He told me that Obama was blaming white people for everything. Finally, I realized that I was following this man, 20 years my elder, on a wild goose chase that was supposed to end with me agreeing that Obama was bad.

Instead, I said, “you started this conversation by saying that Obama is promoting violence, but it sounds like you’re trying to say that Obama blames white people for everything. I’ve never heard him say that, so can you tell me one thing he’s said that blames white people for everything?” My totally-not-racist cousin (I knew he wasn’t a racist, because he started his next argument by telling me that he’s not racist) told me that Obama publicly says messages for only the black communities, and he’s always talking about arrest rates being higher for blacks, and keeps bringing up slavery and Jim Crowe and lynching. My cousin explained that these are messages about violence.

So I asked my cousin, “it sounds like you don’t like that Obama is addressing disproportionate violence against black communities, or being reminded about slavery or race-based laws. Are you saying that this makes YOU want to be violent, and that’s Obama’s fault?”

My cousin told me that I needed to stop making everything about race and that I was starting to sound like Obama. So, I cleared my lunch, and told my cousin that I don’t feel comfortable hanging out with racists. Good times…