Monday, after the news was announced, Jones responded by walking, shirtless, onto the set of an InfoWars livestream and insisting the buyout wasn’t real, that InfoWars isn’t just a name or URL, it’s YOU, and also that he would reverse the not-real, illegal theft deal in court. He also talked up his new website, which of course we won’t link to.

Jones offered a unique, and completely wrong, interpretation of what parody means, and probably defamed his own attorneys by suggesting they’d explained that “You can’t take something over and then act like you’re somebody, even if you say it’s a parody. You could do a parody of somebody, but not if you took something from them. I’ve already checked with lawyers, so they’re in deep shit.”

This is nonsensical bullshit, particularly since The Onion’s version of InfoWars replaces the “o” with the Onion logo to avoid any confusion. I ordered the tote bag myself; the logo is in gay-frog rainbow colors on one side and muted grayscale camo on the other.

“This tote bag has two sides, one for each of your moods. Yes, two moods is all you have.”

. . . . Heidecker told Rolling Stone that the revamped InfoWars site will initially go live as a parody of its own conspiracy-obsessed origins, but that he expects it to evolve beyond that over time. It’ll start out mocking Jones and the conspiracysphere, but Heidecker says he has long thought “the satire of what the Infowars Alex Jones universe is has a fairly short runway. It’s going to get old after a little while, and then what do you have?”

He said he hopes to transform the site into a new comedy streaming site that can be profitable, to get money to the Sandy Hook families, that would grow beyond the formal limits of news parody that The Onion is known for, “but still play to the same Onion audience.”

For the short term, while mocking conspiracy wierdos remains the rebuilt site’s focus, Collins told the Wall Street Journal (gift link) that Heidecker and his crew already have some blockbuster conspiracy stories on the way, like an exposé of how “the American people don’t know this, but JFK didn’t kill himself.” Intriguing!