do you live in a shithole country?

here’s one dead giveaway: are you ruled by a Mad King who craps out blatant dumbfuckery on a daily basis, after which his courtiers have to work overtime to polish whatever smelly turd just fell out of his stupid mouth?

the first item on today’s agenda needs to come with its own trigger warning, because it’s so fucking idiotic that you might end up dumber just from having encountered it.

“only President Trump could saves the lives of these eight beautiful Iranian women.”

what the fuck is Karoline Lie-vitt blithering about?

never before in the entire history of the multiverse has the question ‘are these eight beautiful Iranian women in the room with us right now’ been a more appropriate thing to ask — because in fact, **these eight women have never been in the room with anyone, ever. **they don’t exist.

they’re the figment of the imagination of some janky plagiarism bot, and Donny swallowed it — hook, line and sinker — like the swamp-brained nincompoop he is.

“To the Iranian leaders, who will soon be in negotiations with my representatives: I would greatly appreciate the release of these women. I am sure that they will respect the fact that you did so. Please do them no harm! Would be a great start to our negotiations!!! Thank you for your attention to this matter. President DONALD J. TRUMP”

this is so shittacularly stupid, it hurts my head to even type this out.

some complete rando on the internet had an AI gin up a bunch of fake images of nonexistent women he claimed were about to be executed by Iran’s regime. he then posted them to Elon’s Nazi Bar and Child Porn Emporium, where they came to the attention of our Moron-in-Chief, who decided on the spot to use them as a start to the next round of peace negotiations.

but wait — it gets stupider. the next day, out of the clear blue, Donny proudly proclaimed that he had saved the lives of these eight imaginary women.

“Very good news! I have just been informed that the eight women protestors who were going to be executed tonight in Iran will no longer be killed. Four will be released immediately, and four will be sentenced to one month in prison. I very much appreciate that Iran, and its leaders, respected my request, as President of the United States, and terminated the planned execution. Thank you for your attention to this matter! President DONALD J. TRUMP”

where is Donny getting his information from? because — and I cannot stress this enough — THESE WOMEN DON’T EXIST.

it’s so monumentally stupid that even Iran ended up mocking Donny, right to his big, dumb pumpkin face.

think about how clownfuckingly insane this is. Dear Leader was fooled by fake images he saw online, and then farted out an entire narrative wherein he successfully appealed for these bogus women’s lives to be spared.

it’s as if Donny were a child playing with Barbie dolls, inventing stories for them.

‘you get released immediately — but you’ve been a bad girl, and you have to spend a month in jail.’

imagine that Joe Biden’s autopen had done anything like this when he was in office. the press would have had a fucking field day. the New York Times would have run seven hundred overheated editorials about Joe needed to resign immediately, for the good of the country.

but because we live in the shittiest possible timeline, the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled press took Donny’s fever-swamp hallucination as fact, and printed it verbatim.

oh, come on. why do we even have a media, if not one of them are going to their jobs?

pro tip for the worthless scribs: every time you start a story with ‘Donny says,’ you’re just enabling and normalizing his dementia-fueled delusions.

finally, to cap it all off, Karoline Leavitt showed up on Fox News to praise Dear Leader for being the Glorious Liberator Of Eight Computer-Generated Women Who Probably Each Have Six Fingers.

welcome to the fucked-up version of America we find ourselves living in, in the Year of Our Lord 2026. we have a cognitively-impaired imbecile president who says stupid shit twenty-four-seven, while grown adults pretend it’s the most perfectly normal thing in the world. nothing to see here, move along.

that’s because shithole countries don’t become shithole countries all by themselves. they need people like Karoline Leavitt — aided and abetted by the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled press — to help them come to fruition.